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I'm a emotional Cripple (pt 1)

It's not really that bad, but it goes a-ways to explaining the funerial stillness in this patch of Blogi-slavia.

I should have come back and written post-after-post like the rest of the Blog-sheviks that headed down south to the Big Easy for a week of good-old-fashioned gemutlichkeit during that big annual Cocktail Round-up we like to call Tales of the Cocktail .
The others, stout and true, have done a right tidy job of summing up the events, even providing pictorial evidence of the grand camaraderie that is Tales. As someone who's been attending for 3 or-so years, all I can say is this: While it has vastly grown in scope, the same intimacy of the early years still exists as the event gets bigger and larger. Five days of enlightened ossifying, sozzling and jellicating without a single voice raised (in anger), nor one fist cocked (let alone loosed) proves to me that cocktail people are the coolest and easiest people in all of Christendom. Friendships were made, not ended that week.

But I couldn't post. I was wracked and paralyzed. So I didn't.

See, the thing was, was that while down in Crescent City I fell in love with Her all over again--you know her, some of you have even met her. She's maybe the greatest un-requited love of my life and this time we were as close to consumating something as we've ever been, and still, I let her slip away.
To paraphrase:

I'm not dumb, but I can understand
Why she talked like a madame but she drank like a man......
Oh my NOLA!....

I ask you--Where else would you rather be in a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world than in New Orleans LouisianA?
Me Neither!

So it was with heavy heart that I returned to Portland, the city what spawned the Great Longfellow, now in the bi-centennial year of his birth, who wrote his famed poem about a girl from Acadia (not far from here) who longed for her beloved, exiled during the Cajun Diaspora to the soggy spots not far from my--our-- New Orleans.
(Say it with me): Evangeline!

Oh, How Cruel the Irony.

So I lay there for a week--sometimes on my bed, mostly on my couch and a few times I sat upright on the fire escape doing the heady mathematics of an unemployed man trying to skip town: If I leave now, I won't have to pay rent, but I'd have to leave alot behind; If I pay rent and leave next month, I'll spend more money than I'm liable to make from eBay or Craigs List and than I'm stuck here AND homeless too.But if I Say I'm gonna pay rent, but don't..........
Whiskey helped ease some of the bigger questions out of the way-- to a point; I recognized its false courage when the notion of hopping a freight train seemed like a reasonable strategy and the entirety of my farewell speech was little more than "Fuck 'em!"
In no time, another tantalizing option did appear before me--this time New York! I resigned to lay down again for a spell and try to think things out. But before I could even summon up a thirst for a gin drink (New York and Gin just go together) I realized I would be going "All-in" with a 4-7 off suit. I mucked my cards before the flop(house) and turned back on the TV.

Cripple, Emotional, 1 ea (Pt II)

In Which Our Hero Puts His Oars in the Water and Rows Merrily Merrily Once Again Atop Life's Stream

So after a week or so of weighing my options and getting basically nowhere, I put down my Scotch & Sofa and ventured outside to see what the rest of Portland had been up to in my absence.
And that's where I erred.
I made a stunningly bad calculation; my curiosity had left me vulnerable to any fool idea that might strike my fancy, and since my fancy hadn't been struck in a while, I was, as they say, a "target rich environment".
I opened up a conversation with a friend of a friend who was in his own personal shithouse: he was about to open his 2nd restaurant.
It was all so very, you know, casual and stuff....
"Do you need a bartender?" I heard myself asking, even before I thought my mouth had formed the words.
In my brain, I could have heard a pin drop, but out in the world...
He said Yes.
I said I'd do it.
And as simple as that, I had fucked up and went and got myself gainfully employed!
My Foot Loose and Fancy Free summer had come to a crashing end and I would have to start a-tending to stuff.
But, at the same time, a large weight --something along the lines of a now-grown Luc and his Lemon--fell off of my shoulders and I fell into the happy and familiar life of a "Job-bo" (a dirisive term that habitually unemployed denizens of my favorite DC bar used to describe people with, y'know, jobs).

So the last 2 weeks have been spent in that weird netherworld of the restaurant bizness-- The "New Restaurant Boot Camp".
It's a place in which restaurant lifers either thrive or die --The shifts start early, they end late and in between you bang your body into your new co-workers or pieces of equipment or both. And just when you feel like you're making headway, the ground shifts beneath you--the unfamiliar menu gets edited or the Wines By The Glass change or the placement of all of your tools or how you write (or enter) checks is suddenly different. Or some combination thereof.

Thrive or Die, my Friends, Thrive or Die....

There's also a ton of names to remember, co-workers as well as customers--a good number of which are an exercise in futility since they simply won't be back.

Until we get our rhythm down--our moves--there's lots of twisting, twirling, gyrations and contact.
Sure, I saw the dishmachine in the corner, I've seen it a zillian times this week, but I didn't expect the door to be left open, so....OUCH! Bruised shin.
Was that my elbow against your, you know?....I promise I'll try to be more careful......

There are drinks, of course, alcoholic beverages, and they cut into the sleep we've been putting off until later.
I'll sleep when I'm dead, we say, snidely quoting Zevon, till one of us points out the long dirt nap he's still taking.
Then again, drinks are a priority in the "New Restaurant Boot Camp" simply because that's what's to be got from such hard (and unrewarding in these early days) work.
And there are rewards--elbows happen, afterall--and they're too numerous or intangible to elucidate.
In a nutshell, I'd like to think that the challenges and rewards of opening a new joint are somehow similar to an old Italian mason's satisfaction: Sure, it's one brick at a time, and each one matters, but in the end, it's the wall that counts.
That being said, I'm off to Boston for a couple of days-- LUPEC calls and Chartreuse awaits.
How can I say no?